“I jumped in the Seine when I was Drunk,” Jersey woman says.

Regina’s plan was simple: meet at a pub near the St. Lazare station, celebrate her friend’s last night in Paris — after completing an “awful internship” — and enjoy the flushed, rose-colored summer evening.

But after skipping lunch, “the drinks hit hard,” Regina said, and the night became a blurred circus that ended with her stripping off her clothes and plunging into the Seine.

Following the 2024 Paris Olympics, in which athletes swam in the Seine, the river has been an e coli-ridden hotbed of conversation. Yes, the river is romantic, as it weaves through the heart of Paris, but it also romantically combines with the sewage system, making it a natural run-off for foul water.

But Regina, a Jersey native, was not thinking of the cleanliness before entering the water. She was on a drunken sprawl to live up the night.

“Apparently there is a video of me doing cartwheels in the middle of the street in front of a crowd,”

Regina said, adding that she “had no recollection of it.”

Long after the sunset, Regina recalled taking the metro with her friends to Notre dame and descending to the river's edge.

She does not remember who among the drunken hooligans decided to strip and jump in the river first, but soon enough, she found herself plunging into the mucky water as well.

“It was refreshing,” Regina said her voice lifting.

“It didn't feel gross.” 

Still, Regina cautions: “for how drunk I was I could have drowned, or got taken by an undertow, but surprisingly, I didn't get sick.”

A year has gone by since her Bloody Mary-infused swimming soiree and Regina fondly remembers the experience, but “does not recommend” jumping into the seine. A statement so obvious to most Parisians, I imagine she wouldn’t endorse leaping off the Eiffel tower as well.